As a contractor, I always knew I was walking into a firefight, so interviewers rarely sugarcoated it.
It was usually once I was inside the company, and I'd put out a few fires, that upper management decided I would be a good fit to run the (usually horribly mismanaged) team I was in, and "offered" to promote me.
This strip is pretty much how every one of those interviews went. The big boss would usually list all of the benefits, or what he considered benefits, of me being a team/group/department manager, and I'd respond with "thanks for the warning".
I asked my HR translator to help translate these talking points.
You will get to work at a fast paced environment = We are going to flood you with so much sh*t the Rome aqueduct is going to look like a trickle in comparison
You will get to thrive under pressure = You will either learn to fend of mental disease or will succumb to overbearing pressure under the gargantuan volume of the aforementioned sh*t
You will be part of a dynamic team = Aforementioned sh*t is going to be flowing from a multitude of directions
Sorry. There are only cons and con artists.
As a contractor, I always knew I was walking into a firefight, so interviewers rarely sugarcoated it.
It was usually once I was inside the company, and I'd put out a few fires, that upper management decided I would be a good fit to run the (usually horribly mismanaged) team I was in, and "offered" to promote me.
This strip is pretty much how every one of those interviews went. The big boss would usually list all of the benefits, or what he considered benefits, of me being a team/group/department manager, and I'd respond with "thanks for the warning".
I asked my HR translator to help translate these talking points.
You will get to work at a fast paced environment = We are going to flood you with so much sh*t the Rome aqueduct is going to look like a trickle in comparison
You will get to thrive under pressure = You will either learn to fend of mental disease or will succumb to overbearing pressure under the gargantuan volume of the aforementioned sh*t
You will be part of a dynamic team = Aforementioned sh*t is going to be flowing from a multitude of directions
I was wondering whether "dynamic team" was a euphemism for "high staff turnover".
Yes, it's either that or constant "restructuring".