Director: Good news, you're getting a promotion! We're making you the acting manager in charge of the XYZ project.
Me: How much more money do I get?
Director: Well, there's no actual salary increase, but it-
Me: Thanks, I decline.
Director: You can't turn it down, the project needs you.
Me: It's not in my job description. I'm technical, those are management duties.
Director: Yes, like I said, it's a promotion, where-
Me: If there's no money, it's not a promotion, it's expecting me to work for free.
I had that conversation at least a dozen times, in several companies. Sometimes, HR even got involved and told the director that no, he couldn't make me perform those duties without an actual promotion that included a salary bump. Even then, I wasn't obligated to accept a promotion if I didn't want to.
When a director couldn't trick me into doing it, he or she would then approach a co-worker. I'd advise them not to take it, but they'd usually fall for it anyway.
They invariably regretted it. I lost count of the number of time I've been told "I should have listened to you when you warned me about taking this promotion" when I arrived at work at 9:45 and they'd been there since 6am.
I used to keep a "stupid file" of various shenanigans I encountered that (a) went above and beyond the normal level of absurdity, and (b) were actually distributed in handouts and/or corporate emails.
More than a few initiatives "celebrated" the company "letting" you work for free, as if they were doing you a favour.
I still remember the email where they "offered" to let people access their work email on their personal cell phones. Of course, IT would have to install tracking and sandboxing software on your phone. IT not only tracked your phone, they could make copies of everything on it, and of course they could remote wipe your entire phone if you lost the phone. Or for any other reason they felt like.
They set up a sign up booth in the cafeteria with a half dozen IT and business types to answer questions. There were lots of "sign up early, spaces are limited", because they only had so many licences of the tracking software they'd have to install.
Not a single person signed up for it.
Management, of course, was mystified by the lack of interest. They offered people a chance to work for free on their personal time, using their personal property, and be tracked, all at the same time, and yet not a single person volunteered. Whatever could be the reason?
At least they are talking to this broad about getting "promoted". In my case, I wasn't even getting informed about being "promoted". Instead, I was getting a metric buttload of extra work shoveled down my way, in an extremely passively aggressive manner.
First they said, the "team" was going to be responsible for the most recent bunch of nonsense they could come up with. Trust me, this type of nonsense "AI" can not fathom, it has to come from broken thought processes. Mostly as a result of knee jerk reactions.
Anyway. when we (multiple members of the team) told them these fresh ideas of theirs are certifiably insane, the team manager said something like "this is only a trial balloon, it likely won't proceed anyway". He was quite upset. I mean, you try to stick it up someone's a**, they say no and you get upset? What's up with that?
The very next time the shite hit the fan, the idea came back. And on the second coming it was already propped up by the introduction. The boiling frogs type of thing. Of course, the second time around the spiel changed. As if by some passive aggressive magic, it stopped being a "team" responsibility and became "my" responsibility. Right.
Forget about not having the compensation conversation. There was no conversation, period. "Hey dumba**, can you start looking into this new thing you don't want to be doing and have never agreed to do in the first place?" To be honest, this approach is pure genius. Just think about it, if they don't ask you, how can you say no? Brilliant! This same strategy has been successfully employed by every rapist and murderer in history.
Anyway, I remembered the legendary Henry Rollins saying: when someone hands you a shovel of horseshit, it's not like you have to take it. And, indeed I do not. I decided to drop them like a hot turd and pack my bags, left all of "them problems" to them. It turned out I can put a lid on my propensity to masochism. Who would have thunk it.
Inside of six months after my departure, all of the people (manager, two directors, can never have sufficient directors) involved in the passive aggressive promotion attempt have been stepping aside, quitting or getting canned. Who knows what truly happened, but the KPI indicates they weren't doing such a swell job. Who could have thunk it.
I had things like that dumped on me several times. The problem with putting me in a management role, senior management found, was that meant that I talked to the stakeholders, and god help them, the customers.
A year after one such incident, a new project director decided to dump a bunch of project duties on me, only to be shot down by senior executives who said "Bill may not be the ideal person to put in front of the customer".
This is not supposed to be a documentary.
Right?...
Having sat on both sides of someone else’s table that way, I’m so glad I left. Now I can guarantee that kind of bullshit won’t happen at my table.
Too real
Director: Good news, you're getting a promotion! We're making you the acting manager in charge of the XYZ project.
Me: How much more money do I get?
Director: Well, there's no actual salary increase, but it-
Me: Thanks, I decline.
Director: You can't turn it down, the project needs you.
Me: It's not in my job description. I'm technical, those are management duties.
Director: Yes, like I said, it's a promotion, where-
Me: If there's no money, it's not a promotion, it's expecting me to work for free.
I had that conversation at least a dozen times, in several companies. Sometimes, HR even got involved and told the director that no, he couldn't make me perform those duties without an actual promotion that included a salary bump. Even then, I wasn't obligated to accept a promotion if I didn't want to.
When a director couldn't trick me into doing it, he or she would then approach a co-worker. I'd advise them not to take it, but they'd usually fall for it anyway.
They invariably regretted it. I lost count of the number of time I've been told "I should have listened to you when you warned me about taking this promotion" when I arrived at work at 9:45 and they'd been there since 6am.
Their offer indeed included a promotion, but for someone else. It's rather Orwellian to refer to these salariless, perkless offers as promotions.
I used to keep a "stupid file" of various shenanigans I encountered that (a) went above and beyond the normal level of absurdity, and (b) were actually distributed in handouts and/or corporate emails.
More than a few initiatives "celebrated" the company "letting" you work for free, as if they were doing you a favour.
I still remember the email where they "offered" to let people access their work email on their personal cell phones. Of course, IT would have to install tracking and sandboxing software on your phone. IT not only tracked your phone, they could make copies of everything on it, and of course they could remote wipe your entire phone if you lost the phone. Or for any other reason they felt like.
They set up a sign up booth in the cafeteria with a half dozen IT and business types to answer questions. There were lots of "sign up early, spaces are limited", because they only had so many licences of the tracking software they'd have to install.
Not a single person signed up for it.
Management, of course, was mystified by the lack of interest. They offered people a chance to work for free on their personal time, using their personal property, and be tracked, all at the same time, and yet not a single person volunteered. Whatever could be the reason?
At least they are talking to this broad about getting "promoted". In my case, I wasn't even getting informed about being "promoted". Instead, I was getting a metric buttload of extra work shoveled down my way, in an extremely passively aggressive manner.
First they said, the "team" was going to be responsible for the most recent bunch of nonsense they could come up with. Trust me, this type of nonsense "AI" can not fathom, it has to come from broken thought processes. Mostly as a result of knee jerk reactions.
Anyway. when we (multiple members of the team) told them these fresh ideas of theirs are certifiably insane, the team manager said something like "this is only a trial balloon, it likely won't proceed anyway". He was quite upset. I mean, you try to stick it up someone's a**, they say no and you get upset? What's up with that?
The very next time the shite hit the fan, the idea came back. And on the second coming it was already propped up by the introduction. The boiling frogs type of thing. Of course, the second time around the spiel changed. As if by some passive aggressive magic, it stopped being a "team" responsibility and became "my" responsibility. Right.
Forget about not having the compensation conversation. There was no conversation, period. "Hey dumba**, can you start looking into this new thing you don't want to be doing and have never agreed to do in the first place?" To be honest, this approach is pure genius. Just think about it, if they don't ask you, how can you say no? Brilliant! This same strategy has been successfully employed by every rapist and murderer in history.
Anyway, I remembered the legendary Henry Rollins saying: when someone hands you a shovel of horseshit, it's not like you have to take it. And, indeed I do not. I decided to drop them like a hot turd and pack my bags, left all of "them problems" to them. It turned out I can put a lid on my propensity to masochism. Who would have thunk it.
Inside of six months after my departure, all of the people (manager, two directors, can never have sufficient directors) involved in the passive aggressive promotion attempt have been stepping aside, quitting or getting canned. Who knows what truly happened, but the KPI indicates they weren't doing such a swell job. Who could have thunk it.
I had things like that dumped on me several times. The problem with putting me in a management role, senior management found, was that meant that I talked to the stakeholders, and god help them, the customers.
A year after one such incident, a new project director decided to dump a bunch of project duties on me, only to be shot down by senior executives who said "Bill may not be the ideal person to put in front of the customer".