I was required to enter a problem for "Continuous Improvement". The problem was that the function (BlipVert) needed inputs from five different different subsystems or external systems, which were in five different formats, logging forty different data objects. The only common element was that they were all timestamped (in different formats, of course, not to mention some were local and some were GMT).
I was limited to 15 minutes, and 10 slides.
The audience was made up of 50 people from different groups. None knew all five systems. Most didn't even know that there *were* five different systems. So before I could explain my proposed solution, I had to explain the problem, meaning I had to explain the five subsystems.
My proposal, "BlipVert: Threat or Menace?" started off with "Welcome to the Tower of Babel", and proceeded to explain all five subsystems. Those that were documented had manuals of up to 200 pages, which I had to summarize in one slide per system, giving me only five slides to explain the actual proposed solution.
In the feedback comments, there were three complaints about my presentation:
#1 - "Slides have too much detail, you need to summarize more", and
#2 - "Too few slides, this amount of detail should have been split over 25 or more slides"
#3 - "Not enough detail of the subsystems was presented, you should go into more depth"
Naturally, management asked me to do another presentation to address all three contradictory requirements. Fortunately, we ran out of budget, so I never had to. But I learned not to propose any more solutions at that company after that.
Problem is, management love them. It’s like showing them flash cards with the thinnest possible depth of information, and making them feel happy. Several sessions like that and they go home a happy man (and it is usually men).
A friend just forwarded this to me, reminding me of a mandatory two day software training presentation the two of us attended years ago.
In that training, the presenter:
- could not speak English, and read the slides with an unintelligibly thick Russian accent ("opaque mode" was pronounced "oh-pack-you-med")
- had slides for version 4.5, even though 5.0 was current and we would be getting 6.0
- spent the first day explaining how to install and configure the server side, which we, the users, were forbidden to do
- answered every user question with "that is a VERY good question", before proceeding to the next slide as if nothing had been asked.
Oh, and the meeting room door got jammed, leaving us stuck in the room, as we discovered at lunch. The company was so cheap they wanted us to stay in there until after 5pm, because "the locksmith charges less after hours". Did I mention that there was a (very) pregnant woman in the training, who was starting to panic about being trapped? My offer to create an alternate exit via the floor to ceiling window (it was on the ground floor) with the application of an airborne chair resulted in them deciding to blow the door immediately.
It wasn't all the presenter's fault, though. When the software was finally installed, a year later, everyone had forgotten the training anyway, so it didn't matter in the first place.
I was required to enter a problem for "Continuous Improvement". The problem was that the function (BlipVert) needed inputs from five different different subsystems or external systems, which were in five different formats, logging forty different data objects. The only common element was that they were all timestamped (in different formats, of course, not to mention some were local and some were GMT).
I was limited to 15 minutes, and 10 slides.
The audience was made up of 50 people from different groups. None knew all five systems. Most didn't even know that there *were* five different systems. So before I could explain my proposed solution, I had to explain the problem, meaning I had to explain the five subsystems.
My proposal, "BlipVert: Threat or Menace?" started off with "Welcome to the Tower of Babel", and proceeded to explain all five subsystems. Those that were documented had manuals of up to 200 pages, which I had to summarize in one slide per system, giving me only five slides to explain the actual proposed solution.
In the feedback comments, there were three complaints about my presentation:
#1 - "Slides have too much detail, you need to summarize more", and
#2 - "Too few slides, this amount of detail should have been split over 25 or more slides"
#3 - "Not enough detail of the subsystems was presented, you should go into more depth"
Naturally, management asked me to do another presentation to address all three contradictory requirements. Fortunately, we ran out of budget, so I never had to. But I learned not to propose any more solutions at that company after that.
They can't stop, and they won't stop.
Presentations are a shitty medium to deliver pertinent information. Prove me wrong.
Problem is, management love them. It’s like showing them flash cards with the thinnest possible depth of information, and making them feel happy. Several sessions like that and they go home a happy man (and it is usually men).
Management likes all sorts of shiny stupid things.
A friend just forwarded this to me, reminding me of a mandatory two day software training presentation the two of us attended years ago.
In that training, the presenter:
- could not speak English, and read the slides with an unintelligibly thick Russian accent ("opaque mode" was pronounced "oh-pack-you-med")
- had slides for version 4.5, even though 5.0 was current and we would be getting 6.0
- spent the first day explaining how to install and configure the server side, which we, the users, were forbidden to do
- answered every user question with "that is a VERY good question", before proceeding to the next slide as if nothing had been asked.
Oh, and the meeting room door got jammed, leaving us stuck in the room, as we discovered at lunch. The company was so cheap they wanted us to stay in there until after 5pm, because "the locksmith charges less after hours". Did I mention that there was a (very) pregnant woman in the training, who was starting to panic about being trapped? My offer to create an alternate exit via the floor to ceiling window (it was on the ground floor) with the application of an airborne chair resulted in them deciding to blow the door immediately.
It wasn't all the presenter's fault, though. When the software was finally installed, a year later, everyone had forgotten the training anyway, so it didn't matter in the first place.
Aren't all the presentations like that? I genuinely smile when someone gives a good presentation instead of just reading text aloud from the screen.
The only thing that would make this worse is if Panel 2's first line was:
I was required to use this...
And naturally the manager who required it ducks out 5 minutes in with an 'emergency' phone call.
Was actively coached by senior leadership to make presentations that way many times in my career. 🙄 😭
I’ve seen slide decks where people have shown quite complicated workings out. You could barely read it, let alone understand it.