Management transferred me to a different project group, and told me I would be spending the next two days in a kickoff meeting. I mistakenly thought that "kickoff" meant the start of a project. Instead, it was two years into a three year project, had already spent 150% of the budget, and was not only not half done, it was still being designed.
The "kickoff" meeting was actually a "the previous PM was fired yesterday, the new PM called this emergency meeting to see if anyone has any ideas how the project could be saved" meeting.
It was obvious that the people in the project were trying to get out, and the ones like me who'd been airdropped in were there to take the inevitable fall. So, I figured it would be necessary to (a) establish dominance quickly, and (b) make sure they didn't want me on the project.
The people before me listed "fun facts" like moose hunting with their father (accidentally shooting their brother), climbing Mount McKinley, running the Toronto Marathon, etc. The guy two before me said he couldn't go onsite (the customer was in Asia) because he was a wanted man there. Then the guy before me then said he couldn't even fly because he was on a no-fly list.
Seeing the pattern, I said I probably shouldn't work on 3D graphics (what they wanted to assign to me) because I was I stabbed in the eye in grade one so I don't have depth perception and can't see in 3D.
The guy next to me whispered "dude, you just won the project".
That project ran for another three years, by the way. And then somehow, despite all sanity and reason, the customer gave them a second project for an extension and a support contract.
Say it like it is Bob, say it like it is.
Management transferred me to a different project group, and told me I would be spending the next two days in a kickoff meeting. I mistakenly thought that "kickoff" meant the start of a project. Instead, it was two years into a three year project, had already spent 150% of the budget, and was not only not half done, it was still being designed.
The "kickoff" meeting was actually a "the previous PM was fired yesterday, the new PM called this emergency meeting to see if anyone has any ideas how the project could be saved" meeting.
It was obvious that the people in the project were trying to get out, and the ones like me who'd been airdropped in were there to take the inevitable fall. So, I figured it would be necessary to (a) establish dominance quickly, and (b) make sure they didn't want me on the project.
The people before me listed "fun facts" like moose hunting with their father (accidentally shooting their brother), climbing Mount McKinley, running the Toronto Marathon, etc. The guy two before me said he couldn't go onsite (the customer was in Asia) because he was a wanted man there. Then the guy before me then said he couldn't even fly because he was on a no-fly list.
Seeing the pattern, I said I probably shouldn't work on 3D graphics (what they wanted to assign to me) because I was I stabbed in the eye in grade one so I don't have depth perception and can't see in 3D.
The guy next to me whispered "dude, you just won the project".
That project ran for another three years, by the way. And then somehow, despite all sanity and reason, the customer gave them a second project for an extension and a support contract.