I learned long ago that sarcasm is wasted on management.
I once had a PM send me an instant message at 3pm on my last day before a month's vacation to ask what still needed to be done for the next release, and whether I'd complete the paperwork in time before I left in two hours, or would they need to have someone else "finish off the paperwork" on Monday morning.
So, I listed the outstanding issues.
I said that the plan was to implement the customer's 120 requested GUI changes, roll back the database to the previous version, change the target release for the 17 bugs linked to the safety evaluation, check the repository deliveries to ensure that they match the linked bug IDs, analyze the outstanding 58 reported bugs that hadn't been looked at yet, get the architect review committee to meet and approve all analyzed bug reports, get the safety committee to analyse which ones require safety review and write formal safety test cases for them, manually confirm that the database rollback fixed the 4 bugs that had been introduced by the database update, translate the GUI to Korean and make it switchable to English, create test plans for all approved bug fixes, do all the code reviews, and write the formal release documentation, all within the next two hours.
The PM's response was, and I quote verbatim, "it will be great to have all these done today for sure."
I took a screenshot of IM that conversation because I knew no one would believe me.
I needn't have bothered. The PM apparently put it up on the screen in the team meeting on Monday morning. My group lead was saying that it would take weeks to complete all of the outstanding issues, and the PM showed my IM and said that showed that I believed it could all be done in two hours, why didn't the rest of my team.
My group lead asked me to stop being sarcastic to "stupid people in management". When I asked which management people in our company were stupid, he just said "yes".
"No." is a complete sentence.
No. There's not enough coffee budget in the world. ☕️
I learned long ago that sarcasm is wasted on management.
I once had a PM send me an instant message at 3pm on my last day before a month's vacation to ask what still needed to be done for the next release, and whether I'd complete the paperwork in time before I left in two hours, or would they need to have someone else "finish off the paperwork" on Monday morning.
So, I listed the outstanding issues.
I said that the plan was to implement the customer's 120 requested GUI changes, roll back the database to the previous version, change the target release for the 17 bugs linked to the safety evaluation, check the repository deliveries to ensure that they match the linked bug IDs, analyze the outstanding 58 reported bugs that hadn't been looked at yet, get the architect review committee to meet and approve all analyzed bug reports, get the safety committee to analyse which ones require safety review and write formal safety test cases for them, manually confirm that the database rollback fixed the 4 bugs that had been introduced by the database update, translate the GUI to Korean and make it switchable to English, create test plans for all approved bug fixes, do all the code reviews, and write the formal release documentation, all within the next two hours.
The PM's response was, and I quote verbatim, "it will be great to have all these done today for sure."
I took a screenshot of IM that conversation because I knew no one would believe me.
I needn't have bothered. The PM apparently put it up on the screen in the team meeting on Monday morning. My group lead was saying that it would take weeks to complete all of the outstanding issues, and the PM showed my IM and said that showed that I believed it could all be done in two hours, why didn't the rest of my team.
My group lead asked me to stop being sarcastic to "stupid people in management". When I asked which management people in our company were stupid, he just said "yes".